Outclassed
by WinterOfOurDiscontent
Summary: Hatake Kakashi is a jounin. Umino Iruka is only a chuunin. But this time, Kakashi's outclassed. KakaIru, shonenai.
1. Wherein Kakashi develops a plan

Hatake Kakashi, the famous copy-nin Sharingan Kakashi, was a damn good ninja.

He didn't usually think about it, any more than he bothered to remember that his hair was silver. It just was. He might occasionally mentally note the colour when brushing his teeth in the morning… and similarly, occasionally when Maito Gai was telling him how "cool and hip" he was, a stray "Damn straight" might have crossed his mind.

But you didn't go around thinking that all the time. For one thing, such an attitude was likely to get you killed. The "I rock," not the "Hey, look, silver." Because overconfidence meant underestimating your enemies. Of which there were many. Luckily, being a ninja meant that while you tended to accrue enemies rapidly, you also thinned their ranks pretty quickly too.

So while Kakashi knew himself to be one of the best ninja in the village, he didn't think too much on it.

But he'd be the first to admit it had its advantages.

For instance, it allowed him to indulge his infatuation with Umino Iruka _ completely undetected. _

He didn't remember when he'd first become aware of Naruto's former teacher. They were both ninja of Konoha, so very likely they'd been running into each other for years, maybe sat next to each other at a mission briefing or in booths at a restaurant.

Odd to think he'd been so oblivious before.

Because now his senses practically pinged when Iruka was anywhere nearby. He'd hear him or smell him or just plain sense him… he was a ninja, after all, and anyone who trained their chakra had a very distinct chakra signature… and the hairs on the back of his neck would stand up and a warm feeling would fill the pit of his stomach… and if he'd been indulging in a little bit of his favourite reading material, there was always a risk of some of that heat moving lower…

It made him feel twelve. And considering that when he'd actually _ been _ twelve, he'd felt about thirty, that was saying something. He hadn't actually felt twelve since he'd been about six.

Ninja lead very complicated lives.

It wasn't just attraction… attraction was simple enough, and understandable enough. You thought they were desirable, you asked them out, maybe you got lucky after enough dinners or enough drinks.

This wasn't attraction. It was… it was a crush. It was a sudden inability to think of words with more than one syllable when the other was around.

It was infantile. At this rate he'd be sending Iruka kunai with notes attached. 'Do you like me? Circle yes or no.'

It had become obvious that he needed a plan. A brilliant plan, a cunning plan… a plan worthy of the legendary Hatake Kakashi…

Screw that. He needed a plan. Any plan.

Okay, the plan was to utilize his amazing ninja abilities to unobtrusively watch Iruka…not stalk, per se, but merely continue to observe and fact-find…definitely not stalk… while in the meantime hiding his crush. Until it either went away or he died of blood loss from too many nosebleeds. Either way, he was quite looking forward to the blessed, blessed peace.

At least he knew he'd be able to keep his secret from Iruka.

* * *

About a month ago, he'd been feeding Naruto at the ramen stand when he'd gotten the distinct impression that someone, somewhere, was watching him.

After a week, he'd worked out that he was being stalked. He couldn't imagine by who, since it wasn't likely an enemy nin had gotten into the village, and it was even less likely that if they did, they'd bother to target him.

Besides, after a while, he'd always spot Kakashi-sensei, and having such a high level jounin around meant whatever was going on, he was probably safe.

After two weeks, he'd put two and two together. He'd also put a new dent in the wall using only his head.

Kakashi was a far stronger, more powerful ninja than Iruka was. And in the normal run of things, Kakashi's victory in any competition would be a foregone conclusion. But this wasn't a normal battle or mission. And as of right now, Kakashi was completely outclassed.

Because Iruka may have been only a Chuunin. But he was also a teacher.

* * *

Disclaimer: This is a work of derivative fiction based on the characters and setting of Naruto, created by Masashi Kishimoto.

Dedicated to catspaw18 and momo-chan.

Taking a short break from _ Seven Down, Eight Up _ to write this, in honour of my acceptance into grad school. Because Kakashi and Iruka are really cute together.

Comments and reviews welcome.


	2. Wherein Iruka develops a plan

So now he knew Kakashi was the one watching him. It made sense in a wayit explained why he never felt spied on when Kakashi was visibly around or when he knew Team Seven was away on a mission.

Of course, it made no sense in any other way. If Kakashi needed a hobby, couldn't he have taken up ikebana or origami or something other than follow-the-poor-innocent-and-somewhat-bewildered-Chuunin? Heck, training a bonsai to grow in the shape of his hair could have happily kept him occupied for years.

"Iruka-senseeeeeiiiii! You're not listening!" Naruto yelled indignantly from next to him. He'd taken Naruto out for dinner again. Officially, it was to celebrate a recent successful return to Konohana. In reality, Iruka wanted to thank Naruto for something else.

It was Naruto's offhand comment two weeks ago about his training schedule that had led to Iruka putting two and two together. He couldn't tell him that, of course. 'Naruto, thanks for helping me realize your teacher seems to be stalking me.' Of course, if free ramen was involved, the blonde probably wouldn't care what it was for. 'Hey, Naruto, thanks for teaching Jiraya the sexy no jutsu so he can spy at bathhouses.' 'Hey, Naruto, thanks for helping Sasuke finally wrench the title of angstiest nin in Konoha from Neji, who's held it for three years running.'

Thankfully, Naruto's devoted loyalty to Konoha and the Akatsuki being too cheap to budget for food bribes would forever prevent the village from being lost through ramen.

So Iruka turned back to Naruto and began listening in earnest to a tale of how Naruto's bravery, skill, and quick-wittedness had been the only thing to save the whole team all from certain death. He especially enjoyed the part where all the others had fallen in to the obvious pit trap- Kakashi because he'd been too busy reading, Sasuke because he'd been too busy checking his hair in a nearby puddle, and Sakura because she'd been too busy paying attention to Sasuke. Naruto, of course, had seen the trap from _ miles _ away, though his insightful warnings had been ignored until it was too late.

If the shinobi training ever fell through, Naruto probably had a great career ahead of him in novels. With a bit more nudity, they'd sell to the same audience as the Icha Icha novels. Okay, a lot more nudity, but both authors showed a certain unwillingness to be burdened with facts or plausibility.

Iruka nodded knowingly at all the right places, winced appropriately when necessary, gasped at the tense parts, and congratulated Naruto on his handling of such a difficult mission. It was easy, because he really genuinely cared about Naruto. It was hard not to like him, he was just so _ sincere _ about everything he did. Unlike that sensei of his, who had unaccountably decided to make Iruka's life difficult.

Kakashi-san was a far superior ninja, being not just a jounin but a legendary copy nin. So Iruka, who by now had decided to treat this as some sort of undeclared battle, couldn't hope to beat him in any traditional shinobi way.

But Iruka was a teacher. So was Kakashi. But while Kakashi had taught three students for several months, Iruka had been teaching proto-nin hellions for years.

That was why he'd been able to notice his stalker in the first place. Years of eight-hour days in the classroom with a bunch of students always willing to throw chalk, spitballs, and the occasional kunai at the back of his head had honed a situational awareness many a battle-hardened ANBU would have envied.

After all, everyone knows good teachers have eyes in the back of their heads. Well, everyone except Kakashi, who had graduated the academy when he was six.

So… Iruka rubbed the scar on the bridge of his nose thoughtfully… pretend Kakashi was a particularly difficult and disruptive student. What did you do?

First, you ignored them.

Screw that. It was driving him nuts, even if he'd never admit it. Besides, you ignored such behavior if you thought it was a cry for attention, which this wasn't. Kakashi probably didn't even realize he'd been found out.

So on to step two: attempt to direct the student's energies into more productive channels.

* * *

Kakashi was very surprised to find a copy of _ Origami for Beginners _ on his doorstep.

There was no note, but the fact that it was a brand new book and had been placed dead centre on the mat made it clear it was a gift for him.

He pushed up his forehead protector. No booby traps or scrolls, it was exactly what it looked like. A book on folding paper in intricate ways in order to make it look vaguely like other things, complete with a sample packet of origami paper in the back cover.

Hm.

Strange.

He ran his hand through his hair, which folded back only to spring into its normal pose as soon as the hand left it. He never bothered to do anything but brush it, but somehow his hair, like him, had developed a unique set of properties that made perfect sense from the inside while remaining incomprehensible to anyone else.

It couldn't hurt to read the book. A properly folded piece of paper would probably make a handy yet unexpected weapon. Or the next time Gai-sensei forced a competition, he could suggest it involve crafting paper cranes.

He smiled, his visible eye curving upward. Whoever had left the gift had been surprisingly thoughtful. Which meant it couldn't have been Gai.

Ah well. He'd solve the mystery later. Right now, he was on a tight timetable. It was seven now, and he'd told his students to meet at seven fifteen. That meant he had only two hours to eat breakfast, visit Obito, stop by the bookstore, and watch Iruka-sensei teach his first class of the day.

He'd meant to overload himself with Iruka, figuring that repeated exposure might give Kakashi some sort of tolerance to being around him.

So far, it wasn't working. In fact, the more time he spent observing…not stalking, observing… Iruka, the more time he wanted to spend doing so.

Worse, the other day he'd caught himself absent-mindedly carving a heart into a tree while stal… watching Iruka practice throwing shuriken with his students.

But it was still a harmless hobby. Iruka couldn't mind because he didn't know, Kakashi wasn't any more inattentive or late than he always was, and surely it was worth continuing for the fillip of joy it added to an otherwise potentially mundane day?

Besides, it was a mission. An unofficial mission, perhaps, but he took all his missions seriously.

Well, most of them.

Well, some of them.

* * *

Wow. I wasn't sure where I was going to go with this, if anywhere, but the kind reviews really floored me. And inspired me to continue on with the story. Many thanks, especially to Momo-chan, Isolde1, Seadragon, Iceheart19, Eudoxus, SharonToggle, Rui Yazawa, disama, Fairady, and Pirate Burn, and I hope you'll continue to enjoy. 


	3. Wherein Gai develops a plan

He hadn't had time to find out if the origami book had worked, since the day after he'd left it on Kakashi's doormat Team Seven had been assigned a C-level retrieval mission likely to last a few days.

Iruka decided to devote this quiet time to some research on a certain jounin. Because even if Kakashi-sensei had stopped… he still didn't know why he'd been following him in the first place.

In the normal run of things, he would have talked to the student's parents and classmates. This, obviously, was not an option here, so after class he went to seek out Maito Gai. It wasn't hard. The trick was to find a high, quiet spot, sit down, and listen for something yelled about "springtime" and "youth." Then follow the noise back to the source.

He found Team Gai in the midst of another intensive training session.

Their enemy this time appeared to be stacks of paper. Small, square sheets of paper. Coloured paper. With patterns printed on it.

"Hello Gai-sensei, Neji-kun, Lee-kun, Tenten-chan."

Neji looked up and nodded in acknowledgement before returning to his folding. Tenten looked up from watching Neji fold to smile at her former teacher. Lee, not content with such restrained displays, stood, bowed, and flashed a blinding smile. Whatever else Gai taught his team, Iruka could not help but approve of his lessons in good oral hygiene.

Speaking of Gai… just as Iruka had raised his hand to shield his eyes from the rays of light emitted by Lee's smile, he was caught in a bone-crunching embrace that would probably have broken the spine of a non-nin.

"Iruka-sensei! I am so happy to see you! Truly it is an honour to be visited by one so dedicated to our village's youthful flowers!" Maito Gai always spoke in exclaimation points. Unless he was excited, in which case he spoke in ALL CAPS.

"Gai-sen…sei…. Nice to… see you… too." The 'too' slid out of Iruka's mouth as Gai's crushing hug finally receded. And the birdies and stars had been looking so pretty. Iruka paused to wipe an imaginary speck off his chuunin vest, taking the opportunity to inconspicuously allow oxygen to reenter his lungs and bloodstream. "I wonder if I might have a word with you? In private?"

"Of course! My adorable students, I shall return to you shortly once Iruka-sensei and I have finished discussing important teacher-type things." And so saying, he grabbed Iruka's arm and began dragging him a short distance away. From behind them, Iruka could hear Lee's answering yell, "Of course, Gai-sensei! If I cannot fold a hundred turtles by the time you get back, I will perform two hundred sit-ups!"

"Now, Iruka-sensei, what did you need to speak to me about?"

"Well… eh…" he'd forgotten how much energy it took to speak with Gai-sensei. Okay, stall while you figure out how to ask about Kakashi-sensei. "I see you're teaching your team origami." Which, frankly, had struck him as a little odd. As did the band-aids covering Gai's hands.

Gai suddenly became more serious. "Ah, yes. You see, yesterday, I challenged my eternal rival Kakashi-san to another duel. He told me he was leaving on a mission and did not have time, but if I liked, we could battle when he got back. And because it was his turn to choose, he told me we would have a stirring test of our manual dexterity by… seeing WHO COULD FOLD THE MOST PAPER CRANES IN A TEN MINUTE PERIOD!" He finished this statement off with a combination smile and thumb's up that left no doubt who he expected to emerge victorious in his next bout with his rival. It probably would have been more effective if his thumb had not been circled by three different band-aids, all with a different decorative pattern on them.

(A/N: Kakashi would like it known that the actual conversation between himself and Gai went nothing at all like that.)

Then, dropping his voice and his endorphin level, he leaned over and added. "Truly, he is worthy to be my rival. How modern, to choose origami to battle. However, I realized to my horrour I did not know how to fold paper. And so I have dedicated the next few days to mastering the paper crane so that I may once again defeat him."

Well, at least Iruka knew Kakashi had gotten the book.

Deciding that it was now or never, he began, "Actually, Gai-sensei, I came to talk to you about Kakashi-sensei."

"Ah, Kakashi-sensei! Has he sent you to spy on me?"

"Eh, no, no, nothing like that…" Iruka rubbed the scar on the bridge of his nose between his thumb and his forefinger, a gesture that meant he was stressed, frustrated, nervous, tired, or angry. In this case, the first three, with an option for the fourth. "Have you noticed him acting… strangely lately?"

"In what way?" Gai rubbed his chin thoughtfully. It was decorated with a yellow band-aid sporting a blue kunai pattern. How on earth had he managed to get a papercut there?

"Well, he…" has been stalking me for a couple of weeks now. It sounded silly when he tried to say it out loud, even if he knew it was true. "… you aren't in the middle of a competition to see who can best stalk someone, are you?"

If Gai rubbed his chin any more thoughtfully, it was going to come off. "No, though it is an intriguing notion. To show off our stealth abilities in such a manner…"

Gai-sensei was a jounin level ninja, so he must have had stealth abilities. Must have. Really. Even if a universe in which Gai could actually be sneaky must be such a terrifying place that it hurt Iruka's head to try to contemplate it.

"No, no, really, I don't think it's a great way to battle. Have you considered bonsai?" Surely they couldn't turn bonsai into something horrible, violent, and dangerous. Not even Gai and Kakashi.

"Gai-sensei, can you think of a reason Kakashi-sensei would have to follow someone around?"

* * *

Iruka had never worried about his status as a Chuunin. He had achieved the rank necessary to teach children, and stopped. Perhaps if he'd been willing to devote the time to intensive training, he might have made jounin, but why bother? He didn't need the status or the reassurance. And as a jounin, he might have had to spend all his time away on missions instead of doing a job he loved in the village he loved.

But the recent experiences he'd had were forcing him to rethink his stance. Not on being a chuunin… he was quite happy where he was, thank you very much… but on ever becoming a jounin. Because there seemed to be an unspoken qualification for promotion he'd never have met… you had to be _completely batshit crazy._ It couldn't be coincidence that so many of them were off their rockers.

Maybe he'd ask Akimichi-san just what was in those chakra pills.

Poor Kakashi-sensei. Becoming a jounin at such a young age, he'd never really stood a chance.

The rest of his talk with Gai-sensei had been less than fruitful. Gai had, quite reasonably, asked him who Kakashi had been following. Iruka, quite reasonably, declined to let on that it was himself, and said instead that he had a friend. Whom Gai-sensei definitely did not know. Who might, perhaps, sort of think that Kakashi-sensei had been watching them. Gai had then pressed for details about the person, about whether they were a nin, what rank, and if they were cute.

The last question had caused Iruka to turn a strange colour and ask what that had to do with anything.

After Gai's answer had caused Iruka to turn yet another colour, Iruka had made his excuses and hastily left. Perhaps talking to Gai-sensei first had not been the wisest choice.

He decided that tomorrow during lunch break, he would try to find Asuma-sensei or Kurenai-sensei. They'd always come across as sane.

* * *

THANK YOU! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! You're all wonderful, wonderful people and I'd take the time to individually answer everyone only I figured you'd like it better if I worked on the fic instead. But it means so much to me to know you're enjoying this.

As my way of showing my appreciation, (besides, of course, writing "THANK YOU" repeatedly in all caps) I've done an illustration from the last chapter. It can be found at www (dot) deviantart (dot) com (slash) deviation (slash) 28094693

So again, thank you to all of my readers, especially (in chronological order): b-s, shi-chan, Eudoxus, SharonToggle, Seadragon, paxnirvana (one of my favourite authors, if you haven't read her Kakashi/Iruka stuff, you should), nescione, Rui Yazawa, Bomb-O-Maniac, Tsugath, snow887, linmeiyue, sneazelburg, catc10, Raynin, disama, shake-it-buddy, Jade Tatsu, Fairady, rasinah, Tami, Iceheart19, Polka dot, Momo-chan (who needs to update side effects), xtwilightzx, dragondreams, nekogrrl77, Smoking Panda, Nanashi Ni, Shirohikari, ivybluesummers, Nezuko (wow, another of my favourite authors. I'm honoured. Go read their stuff.), faithb, and shadow.


	4. Wherein Progress of a sort Is Made

Switching from being a jounin to a jounin-sensei, he'd gone from being assigned S and A class missions to babysitting his genin team on D and occasional C class missions. He hadn't really minded the change.

To be sure, the missions were boring… but all good shinobi know that boredom, like anything else, is just another enemy that must be overcome. So he read _Icha Icha Paradise,_ found new and creative ways to tortu… teach his students, and generally enjoyed himself. After years as an Anbu, he knew that a day when no one tries to kill you is… rather relaxing.

Today he was amusing himself by alternating between reading _Origami for Beginners_ and monitoring his students. If by 'monitor' you meant 'occasionally throw paper shuriken at the back of their heads.' He'd already gotten quite good at folding shuriken, and he'd always believed in multi-tasking.

Naruto had been so excited at the sound of a C class retrieval mission. Would they be retrieving a hostage or a lost scroll or a treas… before he could continue, Sakura had clocked him in the back of the head. Unfortunately for the blonde, the "retrieval" in question was an earring belonging to a noblewoman of the Fire country, half of a favourite pair lost during the transition between her winter and summer homes. It would never have ranked C class, except that she had no idea exactly where on the long route the earring had been lost, and some of the countryside was quite wild.

For instance, that brush that Sasuke was industriously searching through. The seemingly innocuous dark green shrubbery was capable of causing a rather nasty allergic reaction.

Hm. He felt sure he'd mentioned that during the briefing.

And now, peering down from his perch in the trees, he could see Naruto yelling something at Sasuke about finding it first.

Sasuke said something back about Naruto never being first at anything.

Naruto then dashed over to the brush near Sasuke to begin enthusiastically attacking it in his quest for the earring.

And now Sakura, sensing a chance to be near Sasuke, was over in the brush as well…

Oh, right. That had been the part of the briefing they'd all been too busy arguing to pay attention to.

Ah well. Everything is a learning experience. Including not being able to sit for forty-eight hours while you wait for the swelling to die down.

He chucked a few more shuriken their way for good measure.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!"

Hm. If Naruto came back with a rash, Iruka-sensei would be furious with Kakashi for not taking better care of his students. Furious enough, perhaps, to seek him out to yell at him.

Kakashi believed very firmly in the benefits of multi-tasking.

* * *

The next day dawned over Konoha bright and shining with irony.

The morning passed uneventfully for Iruka. The children possessed the usual extra energy they always seemed to have on beautiful days, so he decided to spend the morning outside, where they'd practiced basic tai-jutsu techniques and sparred in pairs. He enjoyed the classes outside much more than the ones where he was trapped at a chalkboard, though he never would have admitted something so unprofessional to his students.

Still, he was glad when lunchtime rolled around and he could take a break. He almost sprawled on the grass to watch the clouds when he remembered he'd been planning to look up Asuma-sensei or Kurenai-sensei.

He decided to grab a quick lunch first.

It wasn't that he was a little nervous about talking to another jounin after his experience with Gai. He was just hungry. And he'd forgotten to pack a lunch.

No, wait, he had packed a lunch. He always packed a lunch.

Well… he felt like having sushi and not the curry he'd packed.

Some people can lie and get away with it. Some people lie all the time and get away with it. Some people, like Kakashi, had raised lying to an art form that was less about plausibility and more a sort of performance piece.

Iruka, unfortunately, was one of those people who couldn't even lie convincingly to himself. Lying tended to make him twitch nervously while he waited to be found out by the person in question.

In this case, since he'd lied to himself, the universe had to step in. And so it was that as he arrived at the sushi stand, he was surprised to recognize two of the patrons sitting and enjoying the sunlight.

"Ah, Asuma-sensei, Kurenai-sensei, how… fortunate I should find you both here. Together. At the same time."

* * *

Kakashi didn't know what to do.

He missed Iruka.

He could handle missing people. It's just that usually the people he missed had died in traditional ninja fashion: horribly while on a mission. Over the years he'd developed a system for handling those emotions that was one part denial, three parts acceptance, and seven parts _Icha Icha Paradise._

Missing someone who was still alive, though, was something he'd had next to no experience with. Because someone who was really dead… you knew they weren't coming back, and that conversations at the memorial stone were going to become increasingly one-sided. Though Yondaime still had an impressive backlog of dirty jokes he must have learned while studying under Jiraiya.

But he missed Iruka. Iruka who was still alive, still there… who if he headed back to the village now, he could see again before nightfall.

Of course, he couldn't just abandon the mission. So he did the sane, logical, obvious thing, and chucked the missing earring in the brush near him.

He'd found the earring yesterday, with the aid of his Sharingan, but felt it was good practice for his team to try to find it themselves.

"Yo. I think it's over here somewhere." He gestured lazily with one hand in the general direction of his toss.

"Kakashi-sensei, we looked there before!" Naruto yelled back. He was tired and for some reason, starting to itch all over. His only comfort was that he'd caught Sasuke scratching at his arms and back as well.

"Yes, but a good ninja always looks underneath the underneath."

"That's not even relevant!" Sakura yelled, her skin now as pink as her hair. "The only way it would be in an area we'd already looked would be if…" She trailed off, thoughtful. "If you'd already found it, and then put it there!" She ran over to the bushes indicated and began frantically ripping through them. The boys joined her a few seconds later.

"Now, now, would I do something like that?" Kakashi said, his hands held up in front of him.

"Yes!" The three students yelled as they continued searching. He could feel their combined murderous intent radiating towards him. It was kind of cute.

"Now, if you find it soon, we can make it back to Konoha by nightfall if we travel quickly. Unfortunately, I've only brought enough calamine lotion for one person…"

Sometimes, he really loved teaching.

Now to get back to Iruka.

* * *

Again, thank you to all of my lovely readers for your continuing support. Special thanks go to my reviewers Eudoxus, snow887, momo-chan, Smoking Panda, sidhe-ranma, b-s, Pirate Burn, Tsugath, jemu, Seadragon, ivybluesummers, Ika-chan, meleth78, icefalcon, sna, Suke-san, Raynin, R.A.Ducko, Polka dot, godes of sand, Rui Yazawa, Azamiko, kiwifluff, Beloved Fool, Alicorna, Ryals-Shoal, Aya Weird, eBooeBoo, Jade Tatsu, firedraygon, Riyo-sama, and rasinah. I treasure every review and I reread them when I'm feeling down or lack inspiration.

Other than that… eh, I don't figure you guys care all that much about my private life, so I won't bore you with it, but I did add a set of "promises to my readers" to my author bio page. Hope you enjoy this chapter, and please continue to leave feedback. Thanks!

_Next chapter: Kakashi and Iruka actually interact! With each other!_


	5. Wherein Iruka has a Bad Day

"Ah, Asuma-sensei, Kurenai-sensei, how… fortunate I should find you both here. Together. At the same time." Iruka then sneezed. Loudly. He'd been doing that a lot lately. Either someone was thinking about him incessantly, or he had a cold. Both thoughts filled him with dread.

Asuma's brown eyes and Kurenai's red ones looked up at him, matching expressions of surprise on their faces. Their hands moved apart rapidly…had they been holding hands? Oh dear. Now he felt guilty.

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"

"No, Iruka-sensei, of course not." Asuma hastened to reassure him, the cigarette perched precariously on the edge of his mouth as he spoke.

Iruka sneezed again.

"Yes, it's not as though we were on a date or anything." Kurenai added, before glancing quickly at Asuma, and then again at Iruka. "Please, sit down."

"Thank….aaaaaaCHO…. you." He pulled out the chair and sat across from them at the small, round table. "My, it's a beautiful day out, isn't it? I don't know about your students, but mine always seem to have extra energy on days like this."

"Ah, yes, students." Asuma said, in the tone of one imparting a piece of ancient wisdom. "Very important, students." He took a drag on the cigarette.

"We get together at least once a week. To talk about our students. And compare notes on training." Kurenai added quickly. "Not… dates… or anything."

"Certainly not." Asuma seconded. "Just doing our jobs."

"Of course." Iruka said, increasingly confused by the turn this conversation seemed to be taking. "I never meant to… aaCHOO… imply otherwise." Both seemed slightly mollified by this statement. "I actually came to talk to you about…" he leaned in and looked around, as though expecting the silver-haired jounin to appear at any moment, "Kakashi-sensei."

"Kakashi-sensei? What about him?" Kurenai asked, looking confused and yet for some reason relieved.

Asuma smashed his cigarette butt into the ashtray, then looked guiltily at Kurenai before lighting another. "Yeah, what about him? He not turn in a mission report again?"

"No, nothing like that." Kakashi had apparently gotten sick of being yelled at by Iruka for turning in his mission reports late, and now made a point of scrupulously turning them in on time whenever the chuunin was on shift. Of course, being Kakashi, the margins were now entirely filled with doodles involving the mission, other nin, and anything else that happened to strike his fancy. Iruka had taken to reading Team Seven's mission reports at home, in private, on the off chance Kakashi ever started expanding his doodle repertoire to things small children shouldn't see.

He really didn't feel the need to share any of this with Asuma-sensei or Kurenai-sensei. "I have reason to believe he's been acting… strangely lately."

"Strange? In general, or for him?"

"Yeah, he's a pretty strange guy." Asuma opined. "I mean, he's always wearing that mask… I don't even know what he looks like under there. Could be hideous or something."

"Or handsome." Kurenai suggested, with a sly glance over at Asuma.

"He probably is handsome." Iruka agreed with a mild sigh. It was exactly the sort of rude thing Kakashi would do, to turn out to be completely gorgeous under the mask. Bastard.

"Well, anyway, he's a weird guy. Always reading those Icha Icha books." Asuma said, pointedly turning the conversation away from the potential attractiveness of his fellow jounin. "I took a look at one of those once, and…"

Kurenai jumped in. "You've read those?"

"Yeah, well, I glanced in one once…"

"You've read those horrid perverted…" she stood, almost knocking the table into Iruka in her haste.

"It was ages ago! I was young!"

Iruka stayed where he was, forgotten and very very quiet.

"Those horrible… dirty… awful books, full of…nudity… and…sex…" And her voice lost some of her volume, all of her stridency, and none of her intensity as she continued to stare intently at Asuma.

He stood too, and this time the table did hit Iruka in the stomach. His slight "oof" of pain reminded both the jounin of his presence, and they turned to look at him, something still burning in their eyes.

"We really must be going."

"Yeah, training calls. Can't forget the students." Asuma's cigarette fell to the floor, where he absent-mindedly ground it into the stones with his boot.

"Lovely talking to you, Iruka-sensei. We must do this again sometime."

And with the speed jounin are capable of, they were gone, leaving Iruka sitting at an empty table with the remains of two half-eaten bento boxes.

Yep. Completely batshit crazy.

His stomach grumbled and then he seconded it as he remembered he still hadn't eaten lunch and it was already time to head back to the academy.

He sneezed again.

And he had parent-teacher meetings tonight, so he'd be staying late.

Stupid jounin. Stupid Kakashi. Stupid cold.

* * *

They made it inside the city gates just as dusk finally faded into night. His usually boisterous students were only too happy to head to their respective houses and treat their respective rashes, Sasuke having already turned down repeated offers by Sakura to help him get lotion in any hard to reach places. Even Naruto, instead of immediately seeking out Iruka for dinner, had decided to turn in early.

Kakashi wanted to rush to see Iruka, but Kakashi does not rush. He had a reputation to maintain. Well, okay, he rushed to the bookstore when another volume of Jiraiya's came out, but he had a different sort of reputation to maintain there. Besides, he didn't know where Iruka was. The weak point in his surveillance, for obvious reasons, was knowing exactly what Iruka did with his evenings while Team Seven was away on missions.

Eh. He decided to head to Iruka's apartment. If he wasn't home, he could at least track the scent from there. Then he could catch a glimpse of Iruka, maybe even hear his voice, and then Kakashi could go home and actually get some rest. It wasn't as though he were obsessed or anything, he just needed the reassurance that Iruka was there, that he was okay. Maybe if he were lucky, that Iruka was showering regularly. Good personal hygiene is so important.

If asked, most ninja will tell you they prefer traveling on rooftops because it is faster, stealthier, and generally more efficient. This, of course, is true. But if asked repeatedly… with katana at throat, preferably after a long torture session… not that we condone torture, but if you were to do so… they might have admitted that frankly, it was just really cool to travel via rooftop. It is also a little known fact that one of the best ways to determine if you are, in fact, in a hidden village is checking to see if the roofs of all of the buildings have been reinforced. Even non-nin get the hint when one too many family dinners are interrupted by a genin falling onto the table.

So Kakashi, being a bit of a traditionalist in some matters, began leaping across the rooftops towards Iruka's apartment. He got there in minutes, just in time to see Iruka struggling with the lock.

Kakashi felt something internal he hadn't even known was tense relaxing at the sight of the chuunin. Who looked cute. His shoulders were hunched over, and even his ponytail was drooping slightly. Absolutely exhausted, but still cute. Why was he so tired? Kakashi wished he could…fix it. Get him dinner or give him a massage or have wild passionate sex…which, admittedly, wouldn't do a great deal for the tired but would probably improve his general morale.

Man, but Iruka looked cute. In the way he fumbled for the key in his chuunin vest, even in the way he turned and looked directly at Kakashi, he was just…

Oh. Bugger.

Hatake Kakashi does not 'eep.' And even if he ever were to make such an undignified noise, it was completely covered up by his mask.

"You may as well come down here," Iruka called up. Man, even his 'voice of unavoidable doom' was adorable. Kakashi had no choice but to jump down from the roof, wondering all the while how he could have let his guard slip enough for Iruka to have spotted him. And mentally chanting "bugger" over and over.

* * *

A/N: I know, I know, I'm a VERY BAD PERSON. In my defense, I will say that this is the way the story is going, at the pace that it chooses to move. And stories, much like our beloved Kakashi, can be right pains in the arse when they so choose.

But because, as usual, I have the best readers in the world, the chapter is a little longer than usual.

Oh, and in case you were wondering… This fic does not fit into any specific part of the Naruto timeline. I am, however, picturing it as taking place pre-chuunin exams. So if Team Seven seems really immature… they are.

Special thanks go to my reviewers: b-s (I fixed the formatting problem in chapter four. Stupid Document Manager), XOQ, Shellyraeleen, meleth78 (a new writer whose work just keeps improving. You should check it out), Alicorna, R.A. Ducko, Seadragon, snow887, Bomb-O-Maniac, jemu, dragondreams, shake-it-buddy, Tsugath, LadyGeuna, Isolde1, Azamiko, firedraygon, Raynin, Rui Yazawa, ChibiRisu-chan (If you haven't read her Side Effects, stop everything and do so NOW. Well, feel free to stop long enough to drop me a review, but you get the idea. One of my all-time favouritest stories ever), xtwilightzx, ivybluesummers, Akiko, Keeper of the Sheep, Eudoxus, disama, Nezuko, Smoking Panda, Jade Tatsu, Kohinyun, Renn, Ryals-Shoal, and Shirohikari. You're wonderful people, all of you, and I don't know what I'd do without you. Write slower, I expect.

And thanks to those who made sure this was fit to post, namely catspaw18, momo-chan, and la reine noire.


	6. Wherein Iruka's Bad Day continues

Iruka was tired. Iruka was hungry. Iruka had just had to explain to Hyuuga Hiashi that Hanabi had been caught using the Byukagen to look into the boys' changing room. In consequence of this and myriad other petty annoyances over the course of his day, Iruka was not in the best of moods.

And it was in this 'not best of moods' mood that he had once again felt the presence of the soon-to-be-the-late-in-more-ways-than-one Hatake Kakashi. And even though in the normal course of things he'd have ignored the jounin, he was tired. Tired of being chased by Kakashi when he was around and of chasing Kakashi's shadow when he was gone.

"You may as well come down here." I know you're there. I've known since the beginning. You've underestimated me, and it's going to cost you.

He'd pictured confronting Kakashi, but not when he was tired and hungry and had a splitting headache. The words… all the things he'd yelled in his head at the jounin in the past few weeks… were gone. Iruka sighed and rubbed the scar across the bridge of his nose. "I see you're back from the mission."

He glanced back up to see Kakashi-sensei about five feet from him, his visible eye half-lidded and impossible to read. One hand was held up in front of him in a gesture that may have been placating, while the other was shoved in his pocket.

"Yeah. We just got in. I imagine Naruto will be by for his usual free ramen once the swelling's gone down. I was just passing by when I noticed…"

"Swelling?" Iruka could feel his eyeballs twitch. "What happened?"

"Oh, it's nothing. They had a little encounter with a poisonous plant, but the rashes should be gone in a day or…"

"THEY? The whole team? You let Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura all get a rash from some poisonous foliage? You irresponsible, perverted, worst-excuse-for-a-jounin-sensei I have ever met! You shouldn't even be allowed near goldfish, let alone students!" Okay, it wasn't quite as reasonable sounding as what he'd been planning to say, but the gist was there.

* * *

By this point, Iruka was yelling so loudly that nearby pigeons suddenly decided there were safer palces to be, and departed en masse. So maybe that Hyuuga brat was right about the birds being freer than people. Certainly they were able to flee the scene in a way a certain silver-haired shinobi very much wished he could.

But no, Kakashi was trapped here, and as he stared at the object of his devotion and apparent imminent demise, he realised he regretted...

Very little. Given everything to do over, he'd still be a jounin of unquestioned skills and highly questionable morals. And he couldn't regret Iruka. Though he could regret that, since he was going to be killed by Iruka anyway, that he hadn't managed to get a kiss in there, somewhere. Or a grope.

Definitely at least a grope.

And there was that ten Genma owed him.

He stared mournfully at Iruka. Iruka stared furiously at him.

"Ah, my eternal rival!"

They both turned to stare amazedly at Maito Gai.

He continued, apparently oblivious to the slow, pointy, and very painful death showing in Iruka's eyes. "Kakashi-sensei, you have at last returned! I have spent my days training, and I will triumph in your latest challenge!"

Cue nice guy pose. Kakashi could have kissed him, except that... well, ew. Just... ew. Still, the unforeseen appearance of Gai-sensei meant he might just live to read the next Icha Icha volume.

"Ah, well... we should get going, Iruka-sensei. Fighting...and all that. You should get some rest, you look tired. Bye!"

And he was gone.

* * *

Gai vanished a few seconds later, fast on Kakashi's heels. Iruka knew he should have run after them, but he couldn't confront Kakashi-sensei with Gai-sensei there, and frankly... he was just tired. He'd rest, and tomorrow... tomorrow he would track down that silver-haired probably-gorgeous definitely-a-pain-in-the-ass jounin-sensei and deal with him. Preferably involving kunai and fingernails.

He stumbled into the house and sat down on the futon. Then he must have fallen asleep, because the next thing he knew was the sound of knocking on his door.

Iruka opened it to find a take-out container full of something that smelled warm and delicious. His stomach rumbled in response, and he suddenly remembered how long it had been since he'd last eaten. He grabbed the container and took it back inside, slamming the door behind him. Luckily he'd performed the jutsus to check for poison or traps so often he could manage them on autopilot. The food was safe. Thank goodness. He was hungry enough that he'd probably have eaten it anyhow, provided the poison wasn't too lethal.

After he'd inhaled half the ramen, some hitherto dormant brain cells revived. Food was left on his doorstep late at night. By someone who knew he'd be hungry and too tired to cook. Who also knew some of Iruka's favourite foods. And wanted to remain anonymous. All of which equaled…

Okay, he'd thank Kakashi-sensei for the food and then he'd kill him. For pork ramen, he'd even consider making Kakashi's death marginally less painful.

He finished the ramen and was about to throw out the paper bag it had come in when he noticed something else at the bottom.

Green tea mochi.

Sigh. Now he'd have to let him live.

* * *

NOTICE: Momo-chan (Momo4), author of "Side Effects" has asked me to let people know that she's been kicked off this site. She will be posting future chapters of that and any other works under the penname "messypeaches" on mediaminer and adultfanfiction (dot) net. Or you can find her on the kakaxiru community on livejournal.

Thanks to everyone for reading, especially last chapter's reviewers Eudoxus, b-s, Noniechan, Ryals-Shoal, firedraygon, shi-chan, the highly intelligent XOQ, Seadragon, The Slashy Monster, Bomb-O-Maniac, Ika-chan, shake-it-buddy, Mako Red Eyes, Isolde1, Phishy Chan, Smoking Panda, Azamiko, Polka Dot, R.A. Ducko, meleth78, Renn, Rui Yazawa, Mariemaia1, Suke-san, ivybluesummers, faith b, driftingwanderer, Nezuko, paxnirvana, and anonymous.

And as ever, my lovely wonderful beta catspaw18.

There will likely be one, maybe two more chapters. Thanks for sticking with me, guys.

And if you want to kill me after this last chapter… I just had eye surgery. You wouldn't hurt a blind person, would you? (Seriously, I can barely see right now. I'm squinting at the screen and writing this author note through a combination of sheer force of will and years of typing classes. The rest of the chapter, of course, was written and beta'd earlier.)


	7. Wherein Iruka Gets A Clue and a Headache

Iruka felt better in the morning, even if he had awoken in the middle of a strange dream where Kakashi-sensei and Gai-sensei were competing over who made a better geisha… luckily he'd woken up before Gai had begun the fan dance.

He still had to spend a little longer in the shower trying to wash away some of the images. Gai's kimono had been bright green with a pattern of orange shuriken. Gaah. His retinas burned just thinking about it.

Still, he was awake and aware and ready to face a horde of young children who would instantly notice and exploit any weakness he might show.

He loved his job. But he was a realist. Children were not little angels. He loved every student that passed through his classroom because they were people with their own good and bad qualities. His gift as a teacher lay in understanding and responding to each student as a unique person, and helping them to grow.

Also, he had patience. Infinite bloody patience.

So he patiently led his students through their lessons, patiently answered questions, patiently graded homework, and patiently made sure the blinds were pulled completely down in every window in every classroom he was in. (He told the children they were developing their night vision. Good shinobi, after all, need to be able to function in the darkness.)

The day went so well, in fact, that he allowed himself to relax and only think about Kakashi-sensei once every ten minutes or so. Not that he was counting.

Half an hour before classes ended, he told them they could start working quietly at their desks on their assignment, and come to him if they had problems or questions.

"Iruka-sensei?"

He leaned down until he was eye level with his student. "What is it, Kenjiro-kun?"

"Hanabi is picking on me! At lunch she stood up and told everyone what colour underwear I was wearing!"

"Really?"

"And… and…. And she's always looking at me only I can't always tell 'cause of her eyes, but it feels like she's looking at me… but she doesn't say anything except when she's picking on me…. And… I don't know why!" Kenjiro burst into tears.

Iruka pulled him into a hug, then looked up at the rows of desks. "Hanabi-chan, come here." She came over to his desk reluctantly. "Is this true?" The normally pale girl's face turned entirely red, which answered the question Iruka had asked as well as the one he hadn't.

"We'll talk after class, Hanabi-chan. For right now, go back to work."

He turned back to Kenjiro-kun, whose tears had subsided into the occasional sniffle, and with lighning-fast reflexes handed the boy a tissue before he could blow his nose on Iruka's shirt.

The life of a ninja has many hazards.

"I'll talk to Hanabi-chan and tell her to leave you alone, okay?"

This calmed Kenjiro even further, though he still managed another mournful sniffle. "But why was she picking on me? I didn't do anything to her!"

"Kenjiro-kun, I think Hanabi-chan may like you."

"LIKE me?"

"Sometimes," Iruka said, as gently as he could, "when someone likes you, or you like someone, you get nervous and don't know what to do, so you do strange things."

…like watch them when you think they're not looking…

…of course, you grow out of it…

….unless, of course, you never had a normal childhood…

Well, that explained it.

Iruka smiled. It was the scariest thing most of the children had ever seen. He carefully set Kenjiro back on the floor, then stood facing the class.

He then said, in his politest, friendliest, best teacher voice that somehow matched the smile in not being quite right, "Children, I'd like you all to go home a little early today. You're all much too young to watch a grown man have a nervous breakdown."

It was the voice your mother uses when she doesn't want you to know she's about to yell at someone. Maybe you. The classroom emptied in seconds.

Leaving Iruka to sink to the floor, where he pulled his knees to his chest and rocked back and forth slowly.

He was…. And that's why… all this time… and the food… and what Gai said… and…

And it was so blindingly obvious.

* * *

Gai had lost their last battle. He, of course, didn't take the loss to heart. After all, there'd be no point in dueling if you always won, and his periodic losses only proved he had chosen a worthy opponent, a man who would force him to push harder and be better.

Still, he did like to win. And though Kakashi had proved himself the superior in origami (Gai had already vowed to fold a thousand paper cranes as punishment for his loss) he would surely lose to Gai's new challenge.

He'd been a little surprised to track Kakashi-sensei down so easily, as his rival usually couldn't be found right after a challenge. Probably because he was off training for the next time they would do battle. Truly, Gai was blessed to have such an inspirational rivalry.

Today, however, the very day after their last battle, Gai had stumbled upon him right out in the open, reading a little orange book, and looking supremely nonchalant. (Both of them being high level ninja, "out in the open" meant Kakashi wasn't underwater, underground, or out of the country.) Kakashi-sensei had said something about watching his genin scratch themselves only being funny for the first couple of days before Gai had once again given up trying to understand Kakashi and just challenged him.

This time, surely, he would not lose. For the challenge would be bonsai! Though to make it a true challenge, a challenge worthy of such gifted shinobi, they would be trimming the bonsai...

With a kunai. Held in their teeth. While blindfolded.

Kakashi-sensei wasn't the only one would could be hip and MODERN.

Thus prepared for victory, Gai was about to tie on his blindfold when he felt someone approaching at high speed, their chakra flaring erratically. It appeared they would have a witness for this particular epic struggle.

"Ah, Iruka-sensei! What fortuitous timing! You can judge which of us is the most SENSITIVE and ARTISTIC!"

Strangely, Iruka-sensei didn't respond directly to his Nice Guy Greeting, instead coming to a halt in front of Kakashi-sensei, who looked as nonchalant as ever.

Truly, Kakashi-sensei was impressive for being able to withstand the burning gaze now being directed at him by the chuunin-sensei.

"Kakashi-sensei! You've been stalking me for weeks now! Weeks! You've been acting like a ten year old with a crush!"

Such dedication!

"Twelve." And Kakashi's response, so modern!

"What?"

"Twelve year old."

"Whatever!" Iruka-sensei's scar stood out white against his reddened face. "You… you're a jounin! You're twenty-six! Why the hell couldn't you just ask me out like a normal person?"

Kakashi cocked his head to the side, which meant he was about to do something truly cunning. And then his visible eye curved upward. He was managing to smile in the face of the sensei death glare! Magnificent! "Want to?"

Iruka-sensei stopped mid-rant, his mouth hanging open. "What?"

"Want to go out?"

"Um… I… Alright."

"Great. I'll be by your place at seven."

And then Iruka-sensei wandered off, looking dazed and muttering something about crazy jounins and getting ready, and then Gai won the challenge, though it really wasn't much of a challenge. His rival the copy-nin had ignored all rules of traditional bonsai trimming and asymmetry and had instead just trimmed his tree into a heart shape.

Though Gai had to admit that the detailing of the heart, especially the left ventricle, was nothing short of MAGNIFICENT.

* * *

I'd actually planned to end the fic soonish, but Momo-chan threatened me with squirrelly death if I did so. So… I'll keep going until it feels done or ceases being funny.

And thanks to everyone who expressed concern, my eyes are healing just fine.

Special thanks go to my reviewers for this chapter: Seadragon, meleth78, sidhe-ranma, Ryals-Shoal, firedraygon, XOQ, JadeDragoness, Nezuko, Polka dot, shake-it-buddy, Haru, Eudoxus, ivybluesummers, Renn, TheSlashyMonster, GakiFang, May, Ika-chan, R.A. Ducko, catc10, fiery frost, cheerful-pinkstar, SmokingPanda, Bomb-O-Maniac, b-s, esaure, faithb, BlueTajiri, ShiRurounioftheAphrodesiac, eFooeFoo, Jen-beyblade-fan, YJ, and KoHakuuRiver

And extra special thanks to those who put up with me fussing over this chapter for the past few weeks and helped beta: catspaw18, momo-chan, nezuko, vexingexistence, and alicorn9.


	8. Wherein is The Date Part One

On one of his first missions as a genin, Iruka had been distracted at an inopportune moment by his sensei, causing him to miscalculate a jump and smash headfirst into a tree. While he preferred to Never Speak Of This, he still recalled with surprising and unwelcome clarity the feeling of disorientation and not-entirely-there-ness he'd experienced after he'd regained consciousness.

He felt exactly like that now, even down to the headache and ringing noise in his ears. No, wait, one small change… his face didn't have an impression of bark on it. Okay, so that was a good change.

And he had a date tonight. He wasn't sure yet if that was a good change or not.

He'd been in a haze when he'd gone out to confront Kakashi-sensei. Why him? Why Kakashi? The only logical thing to do had been to go find Kakashi and yell at him for getting Iruka into this mess in the first place. Well, okay, the logical thing was to curl up into a fetal position in the pitch-black classroom, close his eyes, and wait for it all to go away, but he couldn't in good conscience do that.

For one thing, the janitor would be by in about an hour to empty the wastebins.

Iruka took a deep breath, willing the dizziness to subside. He was an adult. He was a shinobi of Konoha. He would act his age. He was calm, he was collected, he was…

…not going to have enough time to get ready if he didn't hurry up and get home.

Shit. He began sprinting across rooftops towards his apartment.

Why had he agreed to this? It wasn't as though he'd been encouraging Kakashi's interest. But Kakashi's question had come from nowhere, and he'd been so surprised by it that he'd just said the first thing that came to his mind. Which, for some unaccountable reason that would probably bear intense thought later, had been a yes.

And Kakashi'd been smiling when he asked him. You couldn't actually see the smile, of course, but his single visible eye curved and he just… radiated smile.

Unpredictable bastard. They'd better be going someplace nice to eat.

Iruka let himself into the apartment, slipped off his shoes, and tossed his chuunin vest on the futon.

And Kakashi had better pick up the damn tab.

He headed into the bathroom. The face staring back at him had shadows under reddened eyes. The jounin-sensei thought he was attractive? The man must have suffered from one too many head wounds while he was Anbu.

Iruka scrubbed his face with cold water and combed his hair before putting it back in its usual ponytail. He didn't want to go out of his way to get ready for the date, but Kakashi already had him at a disadvantage. Iruka would at least make himself presentable this evening, it made him feel like he'd taken a little control of the situation back from the jounin.

So he compromised by freshening up and changing into clean dark jeans and a black shirt, leaving his mesh shirt on underneath it. The whole process took only a few minutes, leaving him to sit by the door and try to kill time until seven. Unfortunately, a glance at the clock revealed he'd been left with that frustrating amount of time too long to do nothing but not long enough to do anything. Of course, he couldn't blame that on Kakashi…no, wait… give it a minute… thinking…ignoring laws of causality… damn Kakashi.

Iruka sprawled out on the futon to wait.

Okay, was the plan to sit quietly through this date and at the end explain gently to Kakashi that he just wasn't interested? Was he wasn't interested? Argh, now Kakashi had him thinking in grammatically incorrect ways! Iruka mentally edited the last thought with red pen. Was he interested in Kakashi?

There was a knock on the door.

* * *

Contrary to popular belief, betting pools, and the holy books of several religions, Kakashi could be on time. If he felt like it.

He usually didn't feel like it.

Kakashi was lazy, but he'd never been stupid. Of course he could get to a given place at a certain time…. He'd been on enough missions where doing otherwise would have killed him. But not dying often enough had taught him that there was something precious and special about NOT being at a given place at a certain time. And lying almost mortally wounded on the cold, rough ground…enough times that he'd lost count… did wonders for one's appreciation of a nice, comfortable bed that practically begged you not to leave it.

Mmm, bed….begging…. Iruka…. He clamped down on that chain of thought just before knocking on Iruka's door.

He was nervous. And Iruka… his eye widened as the door swung open… Iruka was gorgeous. The black shirt showed off the trimly muscular form usually hidden by the bulky chuunin vest, and was open at the top just enough to show a mesh shirt lay underneath. And the jeans… the jeans did NICE things to Iruka's already nice legs. And probably to his ass as well, which Kakashi would make a point of getting a look at later.

Unfortunately, even he knew it was generally bad form to use one's Sharingan to check out your date.

…if they found out you'd done so.

"Ready to go?" Iruka asked, bringing Kakashi out of his reverie. He wondered if Iruka had checked him out, as he'd been too preoccupied to notice. He hoped so. He'd dressed up a little… hadn't wanted to scare Iruka off… and thought he looked alright. (Spending a lifetime as a ninja usually restricted your dress sense to such things as: "can I fight in it," "is it machine washable," and "how can I get this pesky bloodstain out?" This is why most ninja wear a lot of dark colours and always pretreat their stains.)

Kakashi's reply was, perhaps, not worthy of the jounin's wit or intelligence. "Ahh… yeah." He moved away from the door slightly to allow Iruka to exit. "After you."

"Ah, Kakashi-sensei, you're the one who knows where we're going." Iruka riposted, in a tone of mild rebuke.

"….right." He let out a light sigh that was caught by the mask. Now he looked like an idiot AND he couldn't check out Iruka's ass 'cause he'd have to be slightly in the lead.

_I will not make an idiot of myself. I will not scare Iruka off. I will get a second date. I will not drag Iruka into a back alley and ravish him… unless he asks nicely… or the third date…. whichever comes first…_

* * *

Thank you to everyone for taking the time to read this, especially last chapter's reviewers Hey-Diddle-Diddle, Neome21, Eudoxus, sidhe-ranma, Ika-chan, Isolde1, cheerful-pinkstar, Spectre, faithb, Nezuko, Seadragon, Bomb-O-Maniac, b-s, Clemence, MakoRedEyes, PolkaDot, goingcommando, JoshuaGlass, paxnirvana, The-MarmaladeCat1, SmokingPanda, Bitethehandthatfeeds, Azamiko, BlueTajiri, OrenjiRenji, Alicorna, TheSlashyMonster, firedraygon, spikemyangel, Renn, ivybluesummers, sna, BookofChanges, May, Iceheart, ShiRurounioftheAphrodesiac, easure, xtwilightx, SailorComet, Ryals-Shoal, Maldoror, eFooeFoo, Wanwingunotenshi (thanks for taking the time to review all the chapters at once!), SabakunoS.moore, DownRighT-evil, CassielDarkmoon, Hokai Amplifier, and Kat Maxwellpcg.

And Nezuko and Momo-chan, who served as betas and cheerleaders for this chapter.

And this chapter's dedicated to bitethehandthatfeeds. If you haven't read "Butterfly in Reverse," do so now. It's breathtakingly beautiful, with some of the best characterization of Kakashi I've seen. Though I recommend reading something funny afterwards, as it's heavy on the angst. (May I recommend meleth78's "Look, Look!" or Suke-san's "Love is the Strongest Energy"? …or you could be lazy and just reread this one.)

Anyway, thanks. You're all amazing people whose comments and feedback truly brighten my day.


	9. Wherein is the Date Part Two

_A/N: I'm working on a fic with Hey-Diddle-Diddle called "HMS Paradise." It is, as it happens, even sillier than this one, and is also Kakashi/Iruka. It's published under our joint screenname "YarrKinky," and if you haven't checked it out yet, please do._

_I've also written a drabble called "Fireflies." _

_Anyway, on with the chapter._

_

* * *

_

_Well_, Iruka thought as he walked just enough behind Kakashi to sneak occasional glances at the jounin's ass while simultaneously preventing his companion from doing the same to him,_ one question answered_. He couldn't yet check off the "figure out what you think about Kakashi-sensei" on his mental checklist, but Iruka could do the "are you attracted to Kakashi-sensei" below it.

He was.

Because Kakashi was bloody _hot_.

Iruka probably should have noticed it sooner, but _unlike some people he could name but won't because he is far too polite for that_ he didn't go around thinking of everyone he met as potential sexual partners. Still, opening the door to a Kakashi dressed in civilian clothes for a change… one he was about to go on a date with… had made him suddenly very aware of the jounin-sensei's appearance.

And, well, Kakashi had been wearing a dark turtleneck over faded jeans… and the turtleneck moved gently over muscles shaped by decades of training in much the same way Kakashi's ever-present mask hugged his face… and Iruka realized he'd very much like to see what was under both of them, because if he were to guess… and as a ninja and a teacher, Iruka was trained to see underneath the underneath… there was some NICE stuff hidden under there.

And the jounin wasn't wearing his hitae-ate, but instead had on a black eyepatch. The lack of hitae-ate indicated both of them were off-duty this evening, and while it didn't exactly make Kakashi inconspicuous, it did mean he looked as inconspicuous as a tall, lean man with a shock of silver hair, a mask over the lower half of his face, and an eyepatch could hope to look.

…which wasn't very, but Iruka appreciated the thought.

Ah, hell, this was a hidden village, a village chock-full of ninja, a place where facial scarring was practically a fashion statement. Thus, they received no extraordinary amounts of attention as they made their way slowly to a small restaurant on the southeastern side of the village. Very slowly. On a circuitous and winding route that for some reason seemed to take them past every reflective surface in the village.

In fact, at one point Iruka was almost positive they'd gone past the same storefront twice.

_Thank goodness_, he thought, when they finally did get to the restaurant. With all the effort he'd had to expend making it seem as though he wasn't expending any effort, he was starving.

* * *

Kakashi had done a lot of not nice things in his life. He was a ninja, it sort of came with the territory. He didn't think about them any more than he had to: this, too, came with the territory.

But now he really regretted his past actions. At least, whatever actions had karmically backlashed to condemn him to the hell he was currently enduring.

…and did Iruka _have_ to roll the wooden skewer around in his mouth like that after he'd eaten the chicken satay?

It was frustrating enough to realise he still hadn't managed a good leer at Iruka's denim-clad ass.

…now Iruka was pulling it out of his mouth slowly, his lips slightly pursed and his eyes closed contentedly…

…couldn't he just eat the damn thing? _Please?_

By the main course, Kakashi had decided it was safer to close his eyes while Iruka ate. Which would have worked, if Iruka didn't have this habit of making appreciative little murmurs and purrs after each bite of the pineapple curry.

To be fair, it was a very good curry. Sadly for the curry, though, Kakashi's attention was focused less on how good the food was and more on how if he hadn't _just_ washed the jeans, they might have stretched a little bit more.

Stupid tight jeans.

Iruka seemed determined to do the meal justice, though. The man seemed determined… really, really determined…oh god, he just moaned, he actually moaned… to savour every bite. He was either really fond of this style of food, or he was the biggest tease Kakashi had ever had the misfortune of meeting.

…or both, at which point Kakashi's ever helpful subconscious supplied a mental image of Iruka licking mango ice cream off of him with that same look of utter absorption…

The thing of it was… Kakashi shifted slightly in his seat in a vain attempt to get more comfortable… he honestly couldn't tell. Iruka had agreed to go out a date with him… that was good… but he'd been sort of badgered into it… which was bad… but he was having a good time, which was good… but that didn't necessarily mean he liked Kakashi too, which was bad…

Killing people was a lot more straightforward than actually dealing with them.

Not that he wanted to kill Iruka, of course. Because while he did want to get his hands on Iruka, it wasn't to hurt him... well, only a little, and only if he asked...

Dammit, who would have thought that there'd be a downside to constantly reading porn.

Kakashi was almost thankful it was over by the time they made their way back to Iruka's place. It wasn't that he hadn't enjoyed the date… he fully expected to spend a lot of quality time remembering certain parts of it in detail… but right now he was in serious need of some alone time. During which he had every intention of remembering parts of the date in detail. Especially the noises.

Iruka was SO getting ravished if they made it to the third date. And the second date would probably involve a movie or something. That should be safer, right? Or maybe a walk…

They stopped in front of Iruka's door, the situation suddenly awkward.

"I had fun tonight." Iruka said, sounding almost shy.

_Yes, you certainly seemed to_, Kakashi thought_. Though I wish I'd been the reason you were moaning. _"Ah…. Yeah, me too."

Iruka smiled then, and while it wasn't a 'I've just been ravished' or 'please ravish me' or 'heads up, I'm about to ravish you' smile, or in fact anything other than an ordinary 'I'm happy' sort of smile, it still made Kakashi's heart do something as entirely silly and cliché'd as missing a beat.

"Do I get a goodnight kiss?"

"If you close your eyes." Kakashi didn't take off his mask until at least the second or third date. After all, he didn't want anyone thinking he was easy.

And so Iruka closed his eyes, and Kakashi, after a quick look around to make sure no one was watching, pulled down his mask, leaned forward…

…_I'm about to kiss Iruka, I get to kiss Iruka…_

…and with restraint that only a lifetime as a shinobi could have instilled, very carefully and gently kissed Iruka on the lips _with absolutely no tongue involved._

Iruka tasted like mango.

* * *

A/N: Chicken satay is a Thai appetizer consisting of marinated chicken on a wooden skewer, usually dipped in a peanut sauce before eating. They're eating Thai food, which was really a killer to write because thinking about Thai food makes me crave Thai, and there aren't any good restaurants where I live… but I digress. I also had to spend a lot of this chapter thinking about Kakashi and Iruka in civvies looking really hot, so never let it be said I don't suffer for my art.

Sorry for the huge delay between chapters, I'd like to blame the graduation or the Japanese intensive I'm taking… but really it was mostly writer's block.

And a special thanks to the reviewers of the last chapter: Meleth78, JadeDragoness, Noniechan, Isolde1, shake-it-buddy, Shi Rurouni of the Aphrodesiac, bite the hand that feeds (I am behind on leaving reviews for Butterfly in Reverse, and I feel terribly guilty, as it continues to be a phenomenal story), Alicorna, XOQ (who is, again, quite intelligent), Roi du Ballet, Polka Dot, Renn, Moon Klutz, Aloria-Catalonia, umino-gaara, ivybluesummers (another short chapter, I'm afraid), Joshua Glass, Azamiko, Bomb-O-Maniac, Kara Angitia (now happily dating one of last chapter's lines), May, dragon dreams, Eudoxus, Moenokori, firedraygon, Nezuko, Ryals-Shoal, Cassiel Darkmoon, Maldoror, Hokai Amplifier, Alana Quinn, eFooeFoo, dyingstar-elipsis, Jade Tatsu, Sabaku no S.moore, HatakaKakashi22, catc10, faith b, Nekocin, TheTrueSilver, Suke-san, bitter green tea (I love your name), InuBecka, goingcommando, GoldenRat, Oboro, Shock, Bengali, shadowcat15, Cris, Shirohikari (actually, that was a really lovely review), SugarhighsP, Xeora, Kiyosato Tomoe, Kat R. Fair, and dk-joy. Your reviews really do inspire me to keep writing, and I love when someone tells me what they thought was funny.

And my betas/buds Catspaw18 (I read it to her over the phone and count how many times she laughs) Kiki, Nez, and Momo.


	10. Wherein is the Sensei Death Glare

The next few days were quiet.

Too quiet.

Team Seven had been sent on another out of town mission.

No Naruto.

…no Kakashi.

…not that he missed him.

It was nice not having someone watching over him all the time… leaving him gifts… looking at him like a man in the desert looks at an oasis…

Okay, he _might_ have missed Kakashi a little.

But… this was good. This was breathing room, time to sort out what he wanted without being distracted by… distracty things. Like Kakashi's ass.

Which, for the record, is terribly distracting.

Like the kiss.

It had been a nice first date goodnight sort of kiss. Gentle, no tongue, and lingering just long enough to let you know he was very politely choosing not to throw you against a wall and ravish you. It had been… sweet, which is not a word he ever thought he'd be associating with Sharingan Kakashi.

Ah, to hell with it. When Team Seven gets back to town, Iruka's asking _him_ out.

And having decided that, Iruka hoped very much that he could finally concentrate enough to get those damned tests graded.

Stupid Kakashi.

He'd better come home soon.

"So is my mission report alright or not? …Iruka-sensei? You've been staring at the same page for ten minutes."

Shit. Iruka glanced through the rest of the pages without really seeing them, trying not to turn red and definitely not meeting Raidou's eyes. "Err… no, Raidou-san, this report seems to be in order. Thank you."

"You seem a little distracted today, sensei." Kurenai observed, a trace of concern in her voice. They'd worked together enough at the academy prior to her promotion for her to have learned his moods. _Please_ let her not guess why he couldn't concentrate today… Please let Asuma show up to distract her… or something.

"Iruka-sensei!"

Gai-sensei was definitely an 'or something.'

Pose, check. Thumb, check. Gleam, check. "Has my Eternal Rival yet returned from his valiant mission to defend our noble village from all threats?"

"…Team Seven's D-rank gardening mission? Err… I don't think so…" And now Iruka could tell he'd definitely turned red. Feeling a bit defensive, he added, "Kakashi-sensei always takes his time turning in his mission reports, so I wouldn't know right away if he was back."

"Ah, but does he not then hasten to return to your side not out of Duty but out of the Flower of Youthful Romance!"

Iruka was suddenly aware of the intent gaze of a room full of ninja. Which is very intent.

But then, Iruka taught young children. "I'm. Sure. I. Don't. Know. What. You're. Talking. About. Gai-sensei. But. If. I. See. Kakashi-sensei. I'll. Be. Sure. To. Tell. Him. You. Asked. After. Him." And Iruka stared at Gai with all the skill at staring he'd been honing for years.

A few seconds later, Gai felt a strange urge to run a hundred laps around the country. And there was no time like the present.

Once Gai fled the room, Iruka turned his sensei death gaze on anyone else in the room who might even be _thinking_ of saying something to him. And being a teacher meant he could just _tell_.

The room was silent as everyone attempted to make themselves look as inconspicuous as possible. A few enterprising souls transformed themselves into potted plants and even one very confused looking coat rack.

"Yo," said a familiar voice.

* * *

Kakashi stepped hesitantly into the mission room.

It wasn't that he was a little nervous about seeing Iruka again… definitely not that the proverbial butterflies in his stomach were jounin-level lepidoptera fighting for their freedom…

Though that was definitely part of it.

Mostly, though, it was the aura of DOOM emanating from the mission room. He'd noticed it about ten meters back.

About twenty meters back, he'd been passed by a green blur. But since the only behaviour of Gai's that would surprise Kakashi would be normal behaviour, it hadn't worried him overly.

But as he'd gotten a little closer, his Anbu-trained senses had detected a radius of danger extending out from the room at the end of the hallway. And his Iruka-trained senses, honed over weeks of stalk… surveillance, strongly suggested that this particular doom was chuunin-sensei flavoured.

He wondered who was on the receiving end of the sensei death glare this time, besides Gai. Eh, at least it wasn't him.

He stepped into the mission room anyway. This was not because Kakashi was brave, though as it happens, he was. It was not because he wasn't afraid of Iruka. In point of fact, he was terrified of him.

The reason Kakashi could seem immune to the sensei death glare, as it appeared to the startled (yet still visibly averted eyes) following his movements towards the mission desk, was that while Kakashi was terrified of Iruka, he wasn't terrified of Iruka being angry at him.

There were so many things that scared him more. Iruka being hurt. Iruka ignoring him. Iruka being disgusted by or hating him. Iruka just plain not caring about him.

The only danger in Iruka being angry with him was that he might try to injure him, which wasn't a huge threat to an elite jounin, or that he'd withhold sex. And as they weren't _currently_ having sex it wasn't really a threat so much as a continuation of the very regrettable status quo.

And thus, having followed this logic to its obvious conclusion, Kakashi could stride into the room without visibly quailing.

"Evening, Iruka-sensei. I like the new plants. They make the room look more festive."

"Good evening, Kakashi-sensei. Yes, I think so too." And almost faster than Kakashi's normal eye could follow, Iruka had switched off the glare and was smiling politely at him. The temperature in the room went up several degrees, almost back to normal. "Do you have your mission report?"

"Ah… yes." Kakashi rifled through one of the inner pockets of his vest to pull out several rather crumpled and bent pieces of paper. He handed it gingerly over to Iruka.

Iruka made a few "hmmm"ing noises as he looked at the pages. "I see you brought back samples of the local flora, too," he noted. Kakashi had tried to scrape all the mud off, but…

"Yes, well, there was this kitten trapped…"

"Here," Iruka said, scribbing in red pen on an empty margin. "Make these changes and bring it back."

Kakashi took the report back, confused. He'd never been asked to actually rewrite a report before. Especially not for a D-class mission. Why did Iruka… He glanced down at the annotated report. There, in small, neat red pen, Iruka had written, _'I get off work in half an hour. Meet me at Ichiraku for dinner?'_

He looked back up at Iruka, who looked at him politely.

"I'll get on it right away, sensei," Kakashi replied, laconic. "Later." And he ambled nonchalantly back out of the room.

* * *

I will never abandon this story. I may be slow with updates because of this (classes/life) that (other writing projects, like the Autumn of our Virility) or the other (writer's block) but I will always eventually write more. So thanks for sticking with me.

As always and forever, thanks to my reviewers for the last chapter: Joshua Glass (by all means, make an icon. And send it to me when you're done, 'cause I'd love to see it), Azamiko, Kiyosato Tomoe, Smoking Panda, Nezuko, Shellyraeleen, cheerful-pinkstar, Ryals-Shoal, Kasmi Kassim, GoldenRat, Bengali, Kat R. Fair, Renn, dk-joy, Xeora, bite the hand the feeds (feel better!), PD, Sabaku no S.moore, malificus lupus, eBooeBoo, firedraygon, rainingstars, moonshine and mustard seed, Scarlett Witch, ivybluesummers, Shi Rourouni of the Aphrodesiac, Noniechan, Cassiel Darkmoon, meleth78, WS, Shirohikari, SilverCrystal9, Kakkarot Lover, Baka-Sensei, Pointed Teeth, Hiso-chan, Ivory-Stone, Kunoichi 008, tamashi, Machi, b-s, mmm oh dizzy O (that was a really sweet review), Kohana-chan, Cyndi1, Morissa, Elecia Pena, Ariana Deralte, Shock, okami kaze, joyceeee, The Samurai Alchemist, Azamaria-chan, Tenshi-Tara, futago akuma-tenshi02, futago akuma-tenshi01, Silver Tigress 07, R, i v o r y . w i n g s, El Conejo Morado, battousai7, goingcommando, snow887, Andartha, and CuriousDreamWeaver.


	11. Wherein There is Conversation

Someone strolling by Ichiraku at dusk would have seen two shinobi sitting next to each other. Someone paying more attention would have been able to deduce that they were there together, because at a stall with several empty stools they had still chosen to sit next to each other. Someone paying a little more attention than is potentially healthy…or a ninja, the observant little buggers… could perhaps have noticed that occasionally their hands would touch, their shoulders brush, or their knees bump. A ninja strategist who cared to do so and had a bit too much free time could have sorted out that that perhaps, just perhaps, one or both parties were engineering these brief points of contact, as higher level ninja are usually very careful in their movements.

"You're brave, you know," Kakashi suddenly said, with the air of someone letting go of a secret or imparting ancient wisdom.

"Huh?" Whatever Iruka had been expecting, it wasn't that. Actually, after the companionable silence during which they'd been eating, anything would have felt a bit like a non sequitur. But that was still a bit much. He turned to look at Kakashi. "I don't know what you've heard about teaching, but really, the kids aren't that bad…" he said, chuckling lightly to cover his sudden embarrassment.

Kakashi shook his head lightly. "Not that. This." He waved his hand to indicate he was including the entire village in his defintion of 'this.' "You could have chosen to shut yourself off after the Kyuubi attack. I know people that did. Knew." He corrected himself before continuing. "But you didn't. You tried, and you kept trying. And then Mizuki-sensei… when he attacked you and Naruto, you could have decided not to trust. But you didn't. Instead, you chose to bring Naruto into your life. Knowing he might die like your parents or betray you like Mizuki. That, Iruka-sensei… that takes balls."

If Kakashi had been more socially ept… which is of course the opposite of inept… he might have had the sense to stop there, while Iruka was still reeling under the force of such a compliment. Or the simple fact that that was probably the most words Kakashi had ever said to him at one time.

But then, Kakashi wouldn't have been Kakashi. Thus, to the direct and immediate detriment of his sex life, he continued speaking.

"And, of course, it's hard not to respect someone who's lazier than I am." Kakashi's visible eye curled upwards into a smile.

"What?" Iruka couldn't tell if he was kidding or not.

"You're lazier than I am. And I put a fair bit of effort into being lazy."

"What? I'm not…"

Kakashi raised one hand to silence him. "Lazy people want to avoid work, right?"

"Right…" said Iruka hesitantly, torn between annoyance and a potentially masochistic desire to see how Kakashi would continue this.

"And you always do things on time or ahead of time."

"Well, yes, otherwise I'd never get them done."

"…and if you didn't do them on time or ahead of time, you'd be rushing to finish them at the last minute or after, correct?"

"…yes…" Iruka wasn't sure exactly where this was going, but he had a bad feeling about it. Maybe it was the glint of approaching victory in Kakashi's eye.

"Because finishing things at the last minute is always more work and more stress than just doing them ahead of time."

"Of course."

"So you're saying you chronically do things on time because it's less work, whereas I chronically wait until the last minute, thus creating more work for myself." Kakashi's grin was visible through the mask. "I'd say that makes you the lazy one."

It's just as well that Iruka was a mature adult, because otherwise he would have lobbed something at Kakashi right about then, probably the empty ramen bowl. Kakashi, of course, would have dodged the bowl reflexively. But seeing as there tends to be that little bit of broth left on the bottom of the bowl after you've had ramen, Kakashi probably would have been splashed slightly by the bowl as it flew by. Seeing a droplet of ramen broth running down Kakashi's fingers might have then inspired Iruka to take Kakashi's hand in his before bringing it to his mouth to lick away the salty moisture, tracing the path of the droplet down Kakashi's long fingers with his tongue… But, of course, Iruka is a mature adult.

Since Iruka is a mature adult who doesn't go lobbing ramen bowls at anyone, even obnoxious yet sexy jounin, Iruka just glared at him for a minute before dissolving into laughter.

Talking with Kakashi made his head hurt. And looking at him made other parts of his anatomy ache a bit, as well. Especially now that he'd seen him in civilian clothes.

He'd actually been really sweet for a second there, before…

Kakashi was annoying. Potentially infuriating. He was… cute. Internal sigh. And the fact that he was finding such traits endearing told Iruka that he was probably in a great deal of trouble.

Of course, he was also attractive and smart and talented, and he made Iruka laugh. So really, maybe it wasn't so bad…

* * *

Ha! The second date was going well! Iruka had even been the one to ask _him _out this time.

If he'd had a plan, Kakashi would have used all of this as an excuse to rub his hands together and say "all is going according to plan" while laughing in a sinister fashion. (Being a high-level ninja meant he'd seen this routine enough times from enemies to be able to mimic it in a reasonably convincing manner. At least, Team Seven had looked horrified the one time he'd done that in front of them. They were so cute. Kind of like puppies.) Of course, he hadn't had an actual plan beyond the initial Stal… Observe Iruka Mission. But in spite of this lack of plan, the not-plan was still going according to plan.

Sometimes, it was very cool to be him.

* * *

_Dedicated to Meleth78. Welcome back._

_A/N If some of what Kakashi says sounds familiar, it's because while I wrote this part of "Outclassed" ages ago, I took that idea (that Iruka is brave because of his willingness to allow himself to care) and expanded it into a drabble called, unoriginally enough, "Caring," which was published first. I left it in because it's important to the story and I honestly believe it's an important part of understanding what makes Iruka-sensei so damn cool._

_And as has been rumoured, this site has now introduced a thingy that allows you to respond to reviews directly and easily, but they've banned responding to reviews in the fic itself. So again, much love to everyone who takes the time to leave a review, even if I can't cite you all by name anymore. I'll try to respond individually, but I'm lazy and busy, so please understand if I don't._


	12. Wherein There is A Second Date

The rest of the date went uneventfully, if by "uneventful" you meant "promising, entirely pleasant, and _man_ can he do some inspired things with his tongue."

They'd stayed at Ichiraku, lingering over their empty bowls long enough to begin feeling slightly awkward about taking up the stools. Iruka had suggested a coffee shop nearby, where they'd then remained long enough there to order two rounds of drinks and close the place down.

They'd talked. And flirted, and occasionally allowed limbs to nudge, fingers to brush… but mostly, they'd talked. Iruka found out what sorts of things Kakashi enjoyed (other than Icha Icha and stalking Iruka, of course) and Kakashi, in turn, learned things about Iruka he hadn't known even with the stalking.

"Could I see your face?" Iruka asked, as they finally arrived, by a rather circuitous route, at his doorstep. As much as he'd been having a lovely time, he did have work in the morning, and he'd already be paying for the sleep he'd missed.

Kakashi seemed startled, but recovered quickly. "I don't know. Will you still respect me in the morning?"

"Just as much as I respect you now." Iruka responded, deadpan.

Kakashi's visible eye smiled back at him as he rejoined, "Oh? And just how much do you respect me, Iruka-sensei?"

"Weeeell…" Iruka rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I don't make out with just anyone on my doorstep."

"We haven't made out on your doorstep," Kakashi pointed out. He did not sound adverse to the idea.

"That," Iruka replied, "is because you haven't taken your mask off yet."

"Done," Kakashi said, suiting actions to words.

Iruka, however, didn't get more than a glimpse of a long, pale face before they were on each other like Naruto on ramen. Like bugs on an Aburame. Like an Akimichi on an all-you-can-eat-buffet. Like Tsunade on a bad bet.

Like… two males of a certain age who hadn't gotten laid in a while and were rather attracted to the other party.

It was only with extreme reluctance and a certain pressing need for oxygen that they finally separated.

"I should…" _head in, before this goes a little farther than I'm ready to go._

"Yeah."

"And you should probably…" _leave before my willpower crumbles like withered autumn foliage._

"Yeah."

There was a pause as each considered what words might be appropriate for the situation. In light of the extreme closeness of their bodies, which had extended to the region of the lower torso, both had no strong doubts that the other had been having a good time. A very good time.

Not that the earlier conversation hadn't been nice, too. Just, y'know, not well-shit-I'd-better-take-a-cold-shower nice.

"It's not that I don't…" _want to get you out of those pants as fast as humanly possible._

"I know."

"It's just that I've got…" _class tomorrow morning, and some reluctance about sleeping with you on the second date. _

"Yeah."

"Friday night?" _The third date, on the other hand…_

"Yeah."

"Eight. My place." _I'll have to change the sheets._

"I'll bring takeout."

"Done," Iruka agreed, before turning to head inside.

"Do I get a goodnight kiss?" Kakashi asked, his voice slightly plaintive.

Iruka turned back around, surprised. "What do you call what we just did?"

Kakashi paused while he considered this. "…A haddock!" he announced triumphantly. "Now about that goodnight kiss…"

Iruka rolled his eyes.

Then gave him one anyway.

* * *

The next day, Kakashi came in to the mission room a few minutes after Iruka started his shift. He lingered for a few minutes, leaning against the wall while reading an orange book, then handed in a newly copied mission report and sauntered back out.

A minute or two after he'd left, and after Iruka's heart rate had returned to normal and he'd made sure he hadn't embarrassed himself with any overtly… besotted gestures, Iruka found the bento box newly stashed under his desk. Kakashi was _good._

Of course, when Iruka had gone to check and file the mission report, he'd found that while the handwriting was neater than usual and the paper didn't look like it had personally survived any dangerous S-class missions, it was covered with little "Kakashi + Iruka" doodles.

Since in this case, discretion was definitely the better part of valour, Iruka decided this time he'd just recopy the mission report himself.

And, in a thought familiar to generations of students… he wondered exactly how long it would take for Friday to come.

* * *

__

A/N. See? Told you I hadn't forgotten Outclassed. Thank you all for your kind reviews and panicked/threatening emails.

Outclassed is, however, drawing to a close. I expect it will be ending in another chapter or two (And yes, before you ask, they will be longer chapters than this one.). I have wonderful readers, and I'd like to thank you for sticking with me this long, and I hope you'll continue to read my works.

Oh. And I'll be wandering around Otakon this year. Feel free to say hello if you see me.


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